Indian guy and black girl dating

by  |  25-Jul-2015 23:10

One Indian classmate even asked me once, “Do your parents know about this?

” As if I had gotten caught snorting heroine at a brothel.

The silence around female sexuality – everything from the onset of puberty to reproductive health to attitudes about sexual activity – is common in Indian American homes.

indian guy and black girl dating-15

Indian guy and black girl dating

Guys came to me at parties and in the cafeteria to talk about who in my clique they were currently hoping to pursue. Women of color were mostly unseen as partner options.

I listened to boy banter about which girls were hot; the only time I ever heard a non-white female being discussed was when someone had fooled around with a black girl and then subsequently made fun of her vagina. And if we landed in the purview somehow, it was, at best, to be mentioned as perhaps pretty and then quickly dismissed (you know, the “Wow, you’re pretty for an Indian girl” line) or, at worst, to be ridiculed for our ugliness.

The night was warm and wet in the late North Carolina summer. If I’m honest with myself about the big picture, I actually think this all started before boys could even be blamed. I remember being in a hotel room with my sister and a few children of my parents’ friends, the only other Indians I knew and whom I saw maybe twice a year.

I had just told her about the budding flirtation with a boy from Memphis who lived across the grassy quad. One girl in the room decided to turn the group’s attention to my facial features and how un-Indian they were: the tip of my nose was a little rounder than my sister’s; my lips were full, fat, and sat prominently on my face.

By Chaya Babu I was a few weeks into my freshman year at Duke when my sister, a senior at the time, said to me, “Indian girls who date black guys are sluts.” Just like that. It had lurked in the periphery of my consciousness in high school because of the way my family looked suspiciously upon my adolescent tryst with a lanky, dark-skinned boy from a neighboring town and even my interest at a young age in hip hop music. The unspoken messages about how they viewed blackness and sexuality and the intersection of these two things – and how I was attaching myself to it – were successfully transmitted.

Community Discussion